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My spiritual quest at the end of the year

Today I went on a spiritual quest to do some shadow work and release old stuff on a river.

First I thought, there is no water near me, but then I realized, there is one of the largest rivers in the whole Europe directly flowing through my town.

So no biggie...I just go there and to my thing!

And I went there and saw the giant river, very calm, ..not the big stream like it could be. Peaceful. But I did not feel safe.

At this time of the year, the city is so packed by tourists and shoppers. It is overwhelming. But there was nobody, maybe one person in the distance. But this one man in the distance was frightening me.

I was cautious, picked some stones and walked on. Followed by some sea gulls and swans. I recently wrote a piece about swans and there are plenty. They where just heading directly up to me. They do that, because they are used to be fed by people. As soon as they spot someone with a bag, they expect feeding.

They put their head under water to search for food. They are so impressive and majestic... and also dangerous, because if they are offended, they will go for you instantly!

A woman passed by, feeding the sea gulls with dry bread. They where flying around her head like a clowder.

After some 20 minutes walking, totally alone, I threw my stones. But the moment they hit the water, I knew, this wasn't my spot and my method.

There was no power, there was only insecurity.

While I went back to the bridge and the subway station, I felt followed and the moment I spotted other people, I felt a lot better.

And my first way after going back to the city was a bookstore. I LOVE bookstores and libraries! I think they are my most safe spaces EVER ANYWHERE! This is like touching ground. I feel safe around people, loving books!

I think I spent an hour there, compared to the time by the river it was at least twice! But the time by the river felt like an eternity! I did fall out of time - or maybe I had slowed it down, but clearly it was very odd and special.

After getting back to the physical world, another spirit had hit me.

Getting down to the underground, I saw her sitting there in the distance on her knees, letting a rosary slipping constantly through her fingers. I pulled the last coins out of my pocket and got up to her. While I let slip the coins to her cup, she raised her head and looked up to me. There was a very old woman, with a bright, loving face, little teeth and her smile was getting directly to my heart. She was the Baba Jaga, the old mother goddess, the old woman, the grandmother. The keeper of life and death and the witch in east-southern mythology.

I said "all the best for you" and gently touched her arm. She nodded while she smiled and kept on slipping the rosary through her fingers.

While I was walking on, I cried.



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Fireheart Spirit, 2019